Thursday, December 12, 2019

Ordinary Ornaments? Bah Humbug!

A blue-green Christmas ornament with skinny little bird legs.An Christmas tree topper of an angel with gold wings and halo wearing a white dress. But the head is a Basset Hound head.While I was floating around the internet looking for inspiration for this blog, I landed in a realm that left me with anything but the Christmas spirit. I’m talking about the world of weird Christmas ornaments – in many cases, weird and disturbing. Most people dig out their sentimental family ornaments, jolly Santas and glittering decorations and beautify their house for the season. But I somehow can’t believe that the people who buy these ornaments also have a blow-up snowman in their yard. My over-arching thought process when looking at some of these  goes like this: “Why? Who Would Want This? What’s The Point?”

An ornament with a gold bow hanging on a grey wall. It is a baby doll face with two tiny reaching around by the ears.
There's something about those tiny hands...
First of all, I feel it necessary to point out that I am an open-minded and liberal thinking person who enjoys changing things up, but some of what I’ve seen just baffles me. For instance, there is an overabundance of “decorative” moose poop ornaments. I mean, there's a lot of them! They pop up everywhere. If this is a “thing”, I wish someone would explain it to me. Likewise, the great many gender-specific body part ornaments. The creativity of some of these is quite mind-bending (others are just plain crude). But since when does genitals -on-a-tree mean “Christmas”?

A pink blob-like thing with a giant blue eyeWe can probably thank the Goth community, as well as the ever-growing popularity of Halloween and the Day of the Dead, for the increased availability of some of the more horror-centric ornaments out there. But items like skulls are much more mainstream than edgy these days, and by the time Christmas comes, macabre decorations can seem more like stale leftovers from Halloween than festive Christmas fare. Nevertheless, there are still some out there that can make you go, "What....?". The eyeball thingy to the left is one.

Four hanging replicas of pink brains with spinal cords attached.Another question I have about all this is: why are fetuses considered suitable as decorations? Here is a whole page full of fetus ornaments (including one of fetal stem cells). The more I looked at it, the worse I felt about it, so be cautious clicking on that link. For an even more extreme fetus ornament, check out this one – it’s carrying an assault weapon. I’m positive I don’t want to know the people behind all that; the whole thing is offensive on many levels.

Three felt ornaments. They have white heads shaped to look like garlic and are dressed in colorful. They don't look too happy.On a lighter note: How about a brain with the spinal column attached? It even comes in a two-pack, because one is just not enough. Seriously, would even a neurosurgeon want this?

Four round ornaments. Inside each is multicolored crochet work made to look like mold and other growths in a petri dish.Garlic lovers can decide for themselves if they need some angry-faced garlic ornaments. The maker calls them cute and charming, I call them creepy and weird.

A man with dark hair and grey clothing sitting on s white rocket - meant to be Kim Jon Un, the leader of North Korea.Are you a fan of ruthless dictators? The Rocket Man is sure to brighten up any celebration.


An ornament of a Buddhist monk in saffron robes wearing a Santa hat. There are two vies - one inside the box and one outside.If you have a scientist on your list, surprise her/him with some handmade bacteria. No, not the kind you spread with your hands, the kind that is crocheted by hand. Although they don’t seem very yuletide-ish, I have to admire the work put into these.

For those families that are Buddhist but still want to decorate for Christmas, the obvious choice is Santa Monk.

A sparkly red and silver vacuum cleaner ornamentUnless you own a cleaning company, a vacuum cleaner ornament makes no sense at all to me.

And, finally, something that is sure to bring Christmas cheer to any family gathering - a Filthy Animal ornament. I highly recommend it as a gift for that relative with strong political opinions.

If you want to see some more off-beat ornaments, check out this article. It is eye-opening and hilarious.

Happy Holidays to you all!
                                           
                                                    Submitted by Pam
An ornament of Santa stuck in the chimney. He's meant to be a zombie and has blood dripping down his beard.



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